Prom

Let the start of the most depressing summer ever begin tomorrow.

P.S.

Uncertainty might be the worst possible form of torture.

P.P.S

Prom sucked.

Confusion. Confusion.

Je n'ai aucune idée a ce qui passe maintenant. J'en ai besoin d'une explication.

S'il vous plait.

Garden Party

Diving, head-first, into a pool of nostalgia. I found a roll of film in my kitchen and figured I'd have it developed. Turns out it was from about 10 years ago.

Current Obsessions

The Curiosity Cabinet

And still I continue to open my cabinet of curiosities.

"Skank life is eatin' up all the good ones."

"Yeah, it ate Teresa a long time ago."

I hate feeling like I'm being neurotic. I get all self-conscious, and try and correct what I've done or said, ultimately making me look more neurotic. At least that's what I think I do. I think a lot. Too much maybe.

neurosis (n-rss)

A psychological state characterized by excessive anxiety or insecurity without evidence of neurologic or other organic disease, sometimes accompanied by defensive or immature behaviours.

On a lighter note; I had my last exam today. I cannot wait to never return to that school. Oh and be able to sleep so much more now that school's done. Sleep's always good.

It's good, it's good, it's great. Not so great. We're good, you're good, not great.

Yesterday after we had the craziest rain fall, then sun was so pretty. This photo was taken on my way home; I couldn't resist. Too pretty.

In other news; I really need to learn how to control my reactions. Or over-reactions. They just prove to make everything so much worse for me.

While I'm working on that, I'll just keep listening to my sad playlist. Cryin', cryin', cryin' every time.

:Blood by The Middle East

:Beach Baby by Bon Iver

:Sail On Heaven's Seas by Ben and Jason

:Marching Bands of Manhattan by Death Cab For Cutie

:The Funeral by Band of Horses

:Home and Somewhere Else by Mimicking Birds.

The Beginning of the End

Today was the last day of school: sentimental? Not even a little bit.

Lost and Losing

Plucking my courage and betraying my trust. Pluck. Pluck. Pluck. You are. You do. We are.

Just lost and losing - at least until you fill in all the gaps for me.

Your fraudulent activities have got me all mixed up.

fraud (frôd)

n.

1. A deception deliberately practiced in order to secure unfair or unlawful gain.

2. A piece of trickery; a trick.

3.

a. One that defrauds; a cheat.

b. One who assumes a false pose; an impostor.

Is it strange that the love I have for my bed grows daily?

I never want to leave it's comfort.

Taking it back; nostalgia setting in, and anticipation taking control.

"Alors tu vois, comme tout se mele, et du coeur a tes levres, je deviens un casse-tete."

Days like today make me wish it was spring all year round. Overcast and pretty light is at the top of the list. Right up there.

What a Treat:

In the mourning:

I feel as if you've over-stepped the boundaries.

The boundaries you've over-stepped as if I feel.

Over-stepped the boundaries I feel as if you've.

(Photo by Sally Mann)

It's becoming increasingly easier to drown in nostalgia with all that's been going on. It's unbelievable the effect a person has on a group of people even when those affected didn't always hold a personal connection with him. Everybody will grieve in their own way and I feel that I have the right to feel overwhelmingly sad for them. Them, him, all of them. I hate to see those that I surround myself with go through something of this measure in which I couldn't even begin to comprehend. "Death: Death is another important affair among followers. It is not as solemn as a normal funeral, and no religious person is required. The funeral is usually just close family members retelling stories of the deceased’s good deeds and why they expect the person to pass into a peaceful Plain. People are expected to wear bright colours to remind them of the happiness the deceased had impressed upon then. In this way, young children are not taught to fear death and it is not seen as such a scary thing. In this religion, death is simply like a hermit crab changing shells. The funeral takes place after the normal 3 day grieving period and after the funeral people are expected to mourn for the dead no longer."

I'm broken hearted for a friend with a broken heart.

Lost Artists and Coffee Culture

Writing your artist's statement, when you've lost your artist calls for coffee.

Lot's of coffee.

You have no idea what type of person somebody is, until they make an order form of 15 of their favourite photos of yours. Until they plan to base their entire room off of your work.

It's really unbelievably flattering.

Thank you Natalie.

Whispering incoherent thoughts: wishing the message could get across.

Too much at once on one hand, one person. Too little at a time on the other, another person.

I was asked on formspring what my three wishes would be, they are as follows:

1: I would like to know who each and every question on that damn website is from. I don't like the anonymity in that way.

2: I wished that people would be able to read me. Although I'd only like people to be able to read me when I want them to. Other times I'd much prefer my solitude.

3: I hoped that things wouldn't bother me as much as they do. Once I have something on my mind that doesn't sit right - it keeps plucking at my brain until it's addressed.

Why is everything so complicated? I probably make it like that.

In other news; we had a very successful day of present giving, and balloon blowing, and sushi eating. Here's to the next one.

So

miserable. It isn't even one thing in particular. There are so many things piling up all at once.

Get me away from here.

Some Of The Books I've Read, That You Should Probably Read Too.

:Columbine

by Dave Cullen

:Choke

by Chuck Palahiuk

:Fight Club

by Chuck Palahniuk

:Lolita

by Vladimir Nabokov

:Tweak

by Nic Sheff

:Into The Wild

by Jon Krakauer

:Life of Pi

by Yann Martel

:The Book Of Negroes

by Lawrence Hill

:The Sirens of Titan

by Chuck Klosterman

:A Million Little Pieces

by James Frey

:Candide

by Voltaire

:Killing Yourself To Live

by Chuck Klosterman

:The Virgin Suicides

by Jeffery Eugenides

Feria Contest!

Vote for me?

A very very happy birthday to Teresa!

P.S.

To come later today: Books that I've read, that you should probably read too.

Never-ending adventures. I wish I had never-ending film. Today was another multiple roll of film day - 5 to be exact. Fortino's must hate me for having them develop 5 rolls of film in an hour.