As the Sparrow by Charles Bukowski

To give life you must take life, and as our grief falls flat and hollow upon the billion-blooded sea I pass upon serious inward-breaking shoals rimmed with white-legged, white-bellied rotting creatures lengthily dead and rioting against surrounding scenes. Dear child, I only did to you what the sparrow did to you; I am old when it is fashionable to be young; I cry when it is fashionable to laugh. I hated you when it would have taken less courage to love.

http://www.oneword.com/

The thought process consumes me.

"I should be floating, but I'm weighted by thinking."

I have spent the better part of the evening on the hard-wood floor (along with my clothes that I neglected to clean). I've found my artist, and lost the judge. Warrior, where are you?

Incroyable

And you were accepted, of course. You moved from Boston to Paris into a little apartment on the rue du Faubourg-Saint-Denis. I showed you our neighborhood, my bars, my school. I introduced you to my friends, my parents. I listened to your texts, your singing, your hopes, your desires, your music. You listened to mine. My Italian, my German, a bit of Russian. I gave you a walkman. You gave me a pillow. And one day, you kissed me. Time went by, time flew and everything seemed so easy, so simple, so free, so new, so unique. We went to the movies, we went dancing, we went shopping, we laughed, you cried, we swam, we smoked, we shaved, sometimes for no reason, or for a reason. Yes, sometimes for a reason. I brought you to the academy, I studied for my exams, I listened to your singing, to your hopes, your desires, your music. You listened to mine. We were close, so close, ever so close. We went to the movies, we swam, we laughed. You screamed, sometimes for a reason and sometimes without. Time went by, time flew. I brought you to the academy, I studied for my exams. You listened to my Italian, German, Russian, French. I studied for my exams. You screamed, sometimes for a reason. Time went by for no reason. You screamed for no reason. I studied for my exams, my exams, my exams. Time went by, you screamed, you screamed, you screamed. I went to the movies.

I should invest in tights that are so tough they don't rip. I probably own enough tights to clothe a small city (even if most of them are ripped). As of late, a pair of black tights has become apart of my daily wardrobe.

In other news, my parents are away, and my room is the messiest of the messy.

Here's to having nobody to tell you what to do.

Instead of doing the intended shoot, we opted for a more fascinating approach.

It would appear as though Teresa's stuck in the mirror. Again.

Therefore, we are forced to re-conveine on Thursday for another shoot.

L'hiver

Among other things, the coming of snow is being crossed off the list.

Today I'm having a shoot with Teresa.

I'll let you know how it goes. Or rather, show you.

It should prove to go smoothly:

I get a little carried away with the planning aspect.

Mode

For fashion this year, I've decided to abort dressmaking and give accessories a try. I will be making bags, hats, headbands, and jewelry. All of my creations will be available for purchase. Eventually.

Creation is a messy process.

Film, film, film.

My baby.

Unfortunately, I'll need to give it back.

A List of Things I Enjoy

1) Natural creativity.
2) Reading a really great book.
3) Drinking too much black coffee.
4) Making lists.
5) Really hot showers.
6) Music that gives me goosebumps.
7) Hard-wood floors.
8) Old scanned photos.
9) Folk-banjo music.
10) Bundled up scarves.
11) Spending two hours in the book store, buying new books.
12) Living out of my suitcase and traveling to places far away.
13) Sewing things.
14) Ripping papers.
15) The fall.
16) Receiving/sending mail.
17) Polaroids.
18) Montreal.
19) Live music, it's the best.
20) Dresses, and not wearing jeans, ever.
21) Pals.
22) Writing and reading poetry.
23) Big coffee table books.
24) Learning something new.
25) A really great film, one that makes me cry the entire time.
26) Anonymity.
27) A good long conversation.
28) The sound a camera makes when the shutter goes off.
29) Men with beautiful singing voices.
30) Turquoise rings.
31) String and wind instruments.
32) Coffee shops.
33) A long sleep, after a long day.
34) Writing with fine-tip makers.
35) Truly amazing lyrics.
36) Natural red-hair that I'm completely jealous of.
37) Thrifting.
38) The feeling after making something from scratch.
39) A really great sweater.
40) Red lipstick.
41) French music.
42) White wine.
43) Jackets, and lots of them.
44) Porcelain skin.
45) Big, busy, dirty cities.
46) Maps.
47) Harmonicas.
48) Rare talent.
49) Andy Hull, because he's the best.
50) Sushi.

Untitled.

She's lost and losing, this lady is. With a mind eclectic and disconnected, in a world entirely crossed.

Her heart is obsolete, locked in a box with a thousand keys hidden in the clutter.

He will come, then go away - for he too will lose as she's lost and continues to lose if he stays.

Infrastructure

I have been so entirely enthralled by the idea of infrastructure as of late. The concept of having an entire system revolved around communication, transportation, entertainment, etc, is so foreign to my wit. Take the restaurant business for example, does nobody else find it completely odd to run a service in which people come in, have a meal, pay then leave? For the past few weeks I have been in an immense state of cogitation as a direct result of infrastructure. The complexity is over-whelming.

For My Next Project:

I elect to attempt a stop-motion video. Above is a great example of stop-motion combined with live-action. None-the-less, it's amazing.

More Than Often

Lunches in the library seem to cause problems for us.

This is proving to be an on-going trend.

From the library,

:Lindsey

The Sole Consistency of the Day

Art class has me galvanized.

Sewing My Life Away

Is it strange that the most recent, truly exciting endeavour that's taken place in my life has been a trip to Fabricland? Much to do. Stitching and sewing and more stitching and more sewing - throw in some hemming and we've got ourselves some garments.

For now - it's just a pile of fabric.

Here's to thread over-taking my floor.

Here's to design upon design replacing the pages of my sketchbook.

Here's to the sewing season.

Much to do, much to do.

:Lindsey

A Recent Anthem

Art class calls for Beach House.

Beach house, plan, blog, plan, shoot, beach house, blog, plan, repeat.

Schmaltz

Continuing on with my evening's theme of nostalgia:

Vivo Vixi Victum

I am chilled with a cool icy breath as I step outside. It's colder than to be expected at this time of day. The weather's never this good to me. The cold sets me free. It wakes me from the comforting state of dream I live in. The cold opens my eyes to the world around me. Big sweaters, obnoxious scarves, and layers upon layers of clothing are the only ways I know how to dress.

Academia

Four days into the new semester and I am already lagging behind.

I'll be drumming on my eyes with an espresso spoon if I keep this up.

The Creative Process

What does freedom feel like?

The Blues

What does the color blue taste like?

Lately:

I've had an undying infatuation with latin

'Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.'

Facta, non verba,

:Lindsey.

Lo. Lee. Ta.

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul.

Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth.

Lo. Lee. Ta"

Quote: Vladimir Nabokov

Photo: My own